Monday, June 30, 2008

Tractor production to rise in the NHS !!

The Dour Leader has announced that through his genius tractor production will rise in the NHS forever and ever !

Out will go all the things people mention when they say they don't trust Labour on the NHS and in will come things to do the same thing, but that will be harder for people to spot.

For example Nice will approve drugs faster and everyone will have the same access ! But of course we know this can't be the full picture as the money doesn't exist to fund all this ( after all its all been sent to Wales and Scotland to pay for the Celtic socialist utopia's ), so the rationing will be hidden behind stealthy announcements about what works and what doesn't. All health trusts will be forced to do the same thing - so that no one can spot alternative practice or other drugs being used ! We will sell this soviet crushing of initiative as abandoning the postcode lottery - hail the wise and all seeing Dour Leader for his monocular vision !!!

Targets ( mentioned by David Cameron) are unpopular and so will be replaced by quality ! Of course the government will define the terms by which quality will be determined - in effect still setting the targets - but we hope no one will notice.

The enemies of the people, GPs, will be attacked by rounding the traitors up in polyclinics (an old soviet idea from the 1920's ) and making the remainders suffer from patient satisfaction forms ! Slowly they will be replace by more compliant, and less likely to spot expensive diseases, Nurse practitioners.

The Dour Leader cannot be criticised for all this as he will hide behind the profession of Lord Darzi. Some may call this cowardice - but now thanks to the NHS database we know who they are and have cut of any life support they might get in the future.

And of course these 'reforms' will apply only to the English - who failed - like the people who voted for the MDC in Zimbabwe that comrade Mugabe has had to 'persuade'- to vote for the Dour Leader's party at the last election, so the less of them there are in the future the greater the socialist victory will be !

Hail the Dour Leader - Tractor production is up and will rise forever under his wise vision and the NHS Constitution* !

* The word constitution does not imply referendums of any sort - and even if we promised one we would rat on it anyway - that's our moral compass again....


Alfie said...

Did you hear my email read out on today's Daily Politics about this?...

They even read out my strapline 'English and therefore penalised'....

Check it out - (my email is mentioned at 16mins, 10 seconds)..

John M Ward said...

Do I detect a very slight cynicism emanating from the famous shed?

It's a very good interpretation of what is being proposed, and is consistent with much if not all that NuLabour has done over the past decade or so. Yet again outdated and useless Socialist/Communist methods are concealed under a thin veneer that enables them to be 'sold' to a largely non-suspicious public.

Yes, the databases that this Government has been creating will no doubt be used for party political purposes, one way or another, which is why they are pursuing them (most notably still pushing for ID cards) so strongly.

We should all remember from the days of the former USSR, and now Zimbabwe, that the entire agenda of any Socialist or other Lefty regime is to maintain its own position above all else. The country can go down the drain, and absolutely anything goes (if one can get away with it) in pursuance of this self-serving agenda.

That's why they all rubbish -- USSR, Mugabe, Chavez, Blair/Brown -- the lot of 'em!

Lord James Bigglesworth said...

The Dour Leader was certainly fit for purpose - bringing the UK down.

Letters From A Tory said...

The Conservatives do not understand the concept of letting go. They want professionals to be in charge but still want to measure everything.

*roll eyes*

Rachel Joyce said...

Very good article.

Man in a Shed said...

Thank you Rachel.

The thing that gets me most is we know there must be some basis for rationing - yet they try to deny it exists and take measures to make sure no one can discover how they implement it.

Also, as you will know, Doctors, especially GPs, have somehow become the class enemy of the Labour party.