Saturday, September 29, 2007

A Fisk of Brown

A few days ago I bumped into the text version of Gordon Brown's conference monologue speech and thought - ah ha - time for a fisk. The problem is he goes on and on, and then some more. but I'd invested so much time in it that I didn't want to give up. So its below. Its just a draft, but you'll get the idea.

Theresa May has a shorter form critic over on Conservative home .

My offering is below:

Gordon Brown has delivered his first speech to Conference as leader of the
Labour Party. (Sept 07 Bournemouth)


Thoughts of Man in a Shed

Words put in the mouth of Gordon Brown
- that he never said - but my imagination runs riot.

- Check against delivery - that's
just what I intend to do !

Honoured and humbled by the trust you have given me
hey have you forgotten Labour had no election for leader - why not ? Because all the other candidates were too scared , I speak to you for the first time at our Conference as Prime
Minister and Leader of this Party.

No one could have foreseen all the events that Britain[1]
I have a real problem with being a Scottish MP who campaigned for the break up of the Union with devolution, but now finds his personal selfish interest means I need to play at being British has been through since June.

But tested again and again the resilience of the British[2] people has been
powerful proof of the character of our country
which country Gordon - the one you send
all the money to - or the one without political representation of its own

Early on a June morning, two cars were found parked and packed with explosives
in Haymarket, London.

They were put there to bring terror and death to men and women who would do
nothing wrong but be out with their friends, walk on our streets and visit our

But from the bomb disposal experts who courageously risked their lives, to the
Londoners who defiantly went on with their lives, that day the world witnessed
the resolve and strength of the British people.
We're used to Irish terrorism - that the
Labour party used to help along with its opposition to the anti Terrorism
legislation - you remember don't you Gordon.

And when the terrorists tried to attack Scotland’s biggest airport
loss of a couple to thousand votes to the
SNP in Edinburgh there chum
, they were answered by the courage of the
police and firefighters and a baggage handler named John Smeaton. He came to the
aid of a policeman under assault from one of the terrorists.

Later John told me it was instinctive, he was doing what was right.

That man, that hero John Smeaton is here with us today
moment - we remember we have no
and on behalf of our country – John, we thank you.

Every citizen who answered the call of the country – policemen and women, our
security and emergency services, our health services – all left their mark on
this island’s story so that's Northern
Ireland left out - Labour have always lacked the courage to support Northern
Ireland as part of Britain properly, or perhaps geography education in Kirkcaldy
isn't all that great
by keeping us safe. They are the pride of Britain.

Just as our armed services with bravery and heroism every single day also make
do with the cut in the military budget I
gave them as Chancellor - even through they are fighting 2 wars ho ho
proud. We mourn those who have been lost and we honour all those who in distant
places of danger give so much to our country
- well if by honour you mean pay for body
armour, bomb proof vehicles , proper hospital treatment, dedicate medivac
helicopters etc then we don't, but we'd like you to think we

It was in these early weeks, in the wake of the worst flooding in almost 150
years, in county after county, we saw British people pull on their boots and
pull out their boats to rescue neighbours and strangers.
We were of course warned months before
hand, but there was a rather important event going on in London you know - we'll
I'm a bit to modest to remind you eh Okay them my coronation as leader of the
Labour party and PM ! But you all did well despite us and by the second time I
did at least manage to get on TV flying around.

And together they went to work to clean up the streets, sweep out the shops and
reopen the schools. Long after the waters have receded the memory of their quiet
strength remains. You of course remember
people stealing extra water bottles, urinating in water dowsers etc no

They too showed the character of Britain: communities where buildings can be
damaged and even destroyed but our spirit is indestructible. They too make us
proud of the extraordinary resilience of ordinary British people.
Actually it was the English people

As Chancellor I cut back funding to
government research labs and despite warnings about Biosecurity allowed a drain
that carried live foot and mouth virus to continue in a poor state leading to
the escape of the F&M virus - but hell in Surrey, they don't return any
Labour MPs do they eh ....
And then on an early August morning in Surrey,
a farmer went out to tend to his livestock and what he saw terrified him, made
him remember back to 2001 when all across our countryside clouds of smoke
scarred the sky and for many in farms and villages, family dreams were turned to
ash. The days that government
incompetence - Labour incompetence - lead to a massive outbreak that could only
be controlled when the army was called in to get a grip on the

During the outbreak this summer, our vets, scientists, and public officials in
DEFRA cancelled their holidays hey I got
out of having to spend time in England - and get back to play with my new
government - have you seen my COBRA committee, my poll ratings increase every
time I use it
! To fight the contagion farmers worked day and night. And
they have done it all over again this month and continue to do so. Their actions
live out our shared understanding that our countryside is more than the space
that surrounds that shows how little he
understands farming - its where the food comes from - really you need to get
your money back for that education
, it is the oxygen for our towns and

And in order to be the country we should be, Britain must protect and cherish
not just our cities, but our countryside too.
That's why we crushed the countryside
with the Fox hunting ban - the most naked bit of political revenge over the last
50 years - ha

And as we saw again this summer there is no Scotland-only, no Wales-only, no
England-only answer to the spread of disease
I can't believe I'm getting away with
this - of course you thicko Labour delegates are too scared to point out that
the Welsh and Scottish executives make up their own mind on these

or to terrorist attacks that can strike at any time, anywhere in any part of our
country in part thanks to Labour's
foreign policy
. And sharing this same small island
no Northern Ireland again, we will
meet our environmental, economic and security challenges not by splitting apart
but when we as Great Britain stand united together
actually thanks to the EU all this will
be decided in Brussels anyway - but you'll never know.

So my sense of talking to people in all parts of these islands is that instead
of leaving us pessimistic, these three months make us more optimistic about what
we the British people at our best can do.
Like send loads of money from England to
to Scotland and have 2 classes of MPs - one that gets to vote on matter that
don't impact their constituents and one that does - ha you'll believe anything I
say !

Our response was calm and measured. We simply got on with the job.

Britain has been tested and not found wanting.

This is who we are. I thought that was
the Bishop of Southwark's line of reasoning .... boom boom

And there is no weakness in Britain today that cannot be overcome by the
strengths of the British people. Except
the unfair devolution settlement I campaigned for - ho

So don’t let anyone tell us Britain is not equal to every challenge.
Equal - see I refuse to recognise England
as a nation and I can still get away with this !

We all know that in our society we do have real problems to solve, real needs to
meet, but don’t let anyone tell us – the British people
how many mentions am I on now ?
that this country of ours, which has over centuries given so much to the world,
has ever been broken by anyone or anything.

I am proud to be British so proud that
helped campaign for Scottish devolution with the separatists - when the
Conservatives warned it would put the Union in danger

I believe in British values I just don't
practice them too often ...

My father and my mother taught me about family and the great virtues of hard
work, doing your duty and always trying to do the right thing
they must be quite disappointed on the
last point

And I have never forgotten my father telling me to “treat everyone equally with
respect” except the Tories of course -
like when I conned 2 Tory MP's into helping with my Big Tent spin exercise
without asking their leader

His optimism led him to find goodness in everyone.

My father was a minister of the church, and his favourite story was the parable
of the talents because he believed – and I do too – that each and everyone of us
has a talent and each and everyone of us should be able to use that
talent its a shame you don;t remember the
details - it pointed out that talents weren't evenly spread around and that more
was expected from those who had more, but that's inconvenient for your speech eh

And the values I was brought up with are not just what I learned; they are part
of the fabric of the life I have led.

Not just where I come from but the experiences that have shaped me.

I attended the local state primary school in Kirkcaldy a few streets away from
where I lived - and then I took the school bus to the local secondary school up
the hill.

And I have school friends I have kept in touch with all my life who have shared
the good times and comforted me in the bad times.

Today I have the greatest privilege of all - to have been chosen by them to
represent in Parliament the place where we all grew up together
I'll give you that one - it must feel

The office where I hold my constituency surgeries is just across the road – a
few yards from the house where I lived as a child.

I benefited from great and dedicated teachers.

And I was fortunate enough to get to university.

But as a teenager I saw close friends of mine who might have gone to college or
an apprenticeship or to university who never did.

I know some could not to afford to stay on at school
so now I'm going to introduce educational
conscription up to 18 and send to prison those who disobey

For others, their potential had never been nurtured.

When they heard about further education, they thought, or their parents thought,
it was not for people like them thank
goodness for John Major and the Conservatives who expanded higher education so

And the reason I am here – the real reason I am here – is that I want their
children and their grandchildren whom I also represent to have all the chances
that were not available to my school friends when we were growing up.

That’s the reason I am here: I want the best of chances for all families.

So what first made me want to do something in public service?

I don’t recall all the sermons my father preached Sunday after Sunday.

But I will never forget these words he left me with: “we must be givers as well
as getters”.

Put something back or take something out
like the GBP 10 billion (and counting) I've removed from the old age pensions of
people with private pension funds ho - ho

And by doing so make a difference.

And this is my moral compass. Which
points whatever way in convenient for me at the time !

This is who I am. this week

I am a conviction politician. that's why
you do everything that is unpopular by stealth then - hiding from the public
when difficult decisions are needed or unpopular ones

I stand for a Britain well Scotland
where everyone should rise as far as their talents can take
them and then the talents of each of us should contribute to the well being of

I stand for a Britain where all families who work hard can build a better life
for themselves and their children but
only those in Scotland get primary school sizes of 18 or less

I stand for a Britain where every young person who has it in them to study at
college or university should not be prevented by money from doing
so but only the English have to pay for
it - ha ha

I stand for a Britain where public services exist for the patient, the pupil,
the people who are to be served - but
mostly for the people providing them that's to my unreformed public

I stand for a Britain where it is a mark of citizenship that you should learn
our language and traditions if the
Conservatives said this I would call the racists - oh hold on that's what we
implied at the last election ho ho

I stand for a Britain where we expect responsibility at every level of society
except from CSPO's.

I stand for a Britain that defends its citizens and both punishes crime and
prevents it by dealing with the root causes
like letting the criminals out early
because I didn't fund the system

I stand for a Britain where because this earth is on loan to us from future
generations, we must all be stewards of the environment.

So I stand for a Britain where we all have obligations to each other and by
fulfilling them, everyone has the chance to make the most of themselves.

And these are the principles which I believe can guide us as we, the British
people, meet all the new challenges ahead: global economic competition, the
terrorist and security threat, climate change, the yearning for stronger
communities, the pressures to balance work and family life, and most of all -
something you can hear and sense in every part of the country - the rising
aspirations of the British people are you
getting brain washed by this yet - its the Labour party conference so they're
already zoned out - but I'm looking for the headlines with the word count -
cynical and manipulative or what ? Ha but they won't report that - at least the
BBC won't if it knows whats good for it.

Our purpose has always been to be the party of progressive change.

Once our struggle was to secure minimum standards, then to extend opportunity.

But we need to be honest: today the rising aspirations of the British people
summon us to set a new direction.

As the world changes so we must change too.

And I believe that when you get something right, you build on it. But part of
experience and judgement is to recognise that when you fall short, you listen,
you learn and then you are confident enough to change.

In Britain today too many still cannot rise as far as their talents can take
them thanks to the state education

Yet this is the century where our country cannot afford to waste the talents of
anyone not that it stops us - ho

Up against the competition of two billion people in China and India, we need to
unlock all the talent we have and David
Beckham studies help this how ?

In the last century the question was can we afford to do this?

In the face of economic challenge, I say: in this century we cannot afford not

And the country that brings out the best in all its people will be the great
success story of the global age.

Now think of the communities from where we have travelled here to Bournemouth.
How many young people - young boys in particular - fail to develop the potential
they have?

How many women still come up against a glass ceiling that blocks their advance?
Ask Harriet ....

How many men and women who hope to move up the ladder in mid career are deprived
of the chance to upgrade their skills and jobs?
After all I had to wait 10 years

How much talent that could flourish is lost through a poverty of aspiration:
wasted not because young talents fail to reach the stars but because they grow
up with no stars to reach for? Now the
logic here is a bit confused - you mean there aren't enough targets for kids

And how many of our youngest children are still deprived of the early learning
they need.

Why should we accept so many children destined to fail even before their life’s
journey has begun? Well if you vote
Labour the sink estates will be with you always .. see I can para phrase
scripture too.

So this is the next chapter in our progress. The next stage of our country’s
long journey to build the strong and fair society.

I want a Britain where there is no longer any ceiling on where your talents and
hard work can take you. But there is the
drag of state and the burden of an unproductive public sector ruled by an elite
political caste - like me - to

Where what counts is not what where you come from and who you know, but what you
aspire to and have it in yourself to become.

Past generations unlocked just some of the talents of some of the people.

In the new Britain of this generation, we must unlock all the talents of all of
the people.

Not the old equality of outcome that discounts hard work and effort.

Not the old version of equality of opportunity – the rise of an exclusive
meritocracy where only some can succeed and others are forever condemned to

But a genuinely meritocratic Britain, a Britain of all the talents.
Which if you bothered to read the bit of
scripture it your referring too will be an unequal society.

Where all are encouraged to aim high.

And all by their effort can rise.

A Britain of aspiration and also a Britain of mutual obligation where all play
our part and recognise the duties we owe to each other.

New Labour: now the party of aspiration and community. Not just occupying but
shaping and expanding the centre ground
ie telling you what to think. A
strong Britain; a fairer Britain unless
your English of course

Putting people and their potential first.

You know, there was another day in the past few months, one that did not make
the news.

It was a day I went to Hackney to Lauriston Primary School where I met a six
year old boy called Max.

We walked through the library and then the classrooms. He sat with his teacher,
Eddie O’Brien, and me.

He had a book in his hand and his hair was a little uncombed - which as far as I
am concerned may be a good sign not a bad

Max had been falling behind at school, struggling to read. But because of the
‘Every Child a Reader’ programme, he was now receiving one to one coaching, and
he wanted to read us a story.

He did brilliantly as he read from a gripping narrative about “The Gingerbread
Man” and he smiled as he finished.

In that classroom our mission for change was as clear and strong as the words
being read by Max.

What he was really telling us is that every child has potential if given the
chance. Thanks to reforms we
inherited from the last Conservative government primary school teaching has at
least been straightened out
- opps can't do the honesty thing

Today in education, private schools offer one to one
tuition hardly at all- in fact the
private schools I went to had bigger classes - just as Jack Straw he went to the
same school !
. But why shouldn’t all pupils and not just some benefit
from extra personal help? Class rooms
which are disruptive would be a far better start.

And because I want every child to be a reader, every child to be able to count,
we have decided that one-to-one tuition will be there in our schools not just
for Max, but for 300,000 children in English and 300,000 in maths.

And because we want to unlock all the potential, not just the three R’s, for
every pupil as we look ahead with pride to the Olympics
(have I told you how much the Olympics is
going to cost ? No ? Thank goodness)
we aim for the first time for five
hours a week sport and time for arts and music too.
New Labour -> longer week, we'll have
more hours in the day !

So whenever we see talent under-developed; aspirations unfulfilled; potential
wasted; obstacles to be removed; this is where we – new Labour - will
be at the scene of the crime as

Hear me when I say: No matter where you come from. No matter your background. No
matter what school you go to. My message, our message, is and must be: if you
try hard, we will help you make the most of your talents.
If your parents went to University or put
you in an independent school you will be discriminated against in favour of
people who voted for me.

So for every secondary pupil a personal tutor throughout their school years -
and starting with 600,000 pupils, small group tuition too.

Loosing the will to live here - off to fix
myself a large glass of whisky. Frankly I'll be surprised if anyone
makes it this far !

Learning personal to each pupil.

Education available to all – not one size fits all but responding to individual
needs.What have you been doing for the
last 10 years ? Isn't this a direct criticism of your own policies ?

This is the future for our public services. Accessible to all, personal to you
- unless its your local A&E
department and you weren't on Hazel heat map of marginal constituencies we need
to hold - in which case you'll have to travel, hope you don't die int he
. Not just a basic standard but the best quality tailored to
your needs. Education is my passion.

And as we expand specialist, trust and academy schools it’s also time to make
the biggest change in education in decades, a ten year children’s plan to make
our schools, colleges and universities world class.
That's 2 five year plans to you lot.

Instead of education from 5 to 16, we will be offering free universal education
to every child – from nursery school at 3 to advanced studies or training right
up to 18. Despite the fact that many kids
need to leave school at 14 and the last 2 years add nearly nothing to their
education except disillusionment and failure
( now it will be 4 years ho ho)

In just one decade we are doing what no government has ever done: moving the
right to education from 11 years free education to 15 years.

But we will only make the most of this if every teenager who leaves at 18 can
graduate with a good qualification. If
they can't read, write and add up at 16 - why is 2 more years going to help in
the same system ?

So for every apprentice, a certificate of completion. For every college or
school student, A-levels and diplomas and for all a clear pathway into skilled
work. And we offer teenagers national youth community service
(Idea © David Cameron 2007 ) - I
want every young person in Britain to be able to say: this is my country. I
contribute to it. I help make it better.

It’s wrong that anybody should be put off going to college or university by the
fear it will cost too much.

So when the big new changes we are now making are fully in place, 300,000
students will receive full grants. 600,000 – that’s two thirds of students -
will have grants so only the Conservative
voting parents will pay - twice for their kids and everyone else's =- ha ha -
see where the 100 stealth tax rises and pension raid is going yet ?
That’s the change: more students with grants than at any time in the history of
university education.

And to those who say more going to university must mean worse standards, let us
stand up for opportunity or to put it
bluntly - we just intend to ignore the problem and lie to people.
In many
other countries the majority of young people now go to university. In Britain
just 42 per cent; just 10 per cent from low income backgrounds. So for 16 year
olds from low income families who stay on at school, we will make a new five
year offer - we will finance you through college or university, right through to
21. There's a massive elephant size
assumption here on the distribution of talent - he doesn't address it because he
knows it shows he's misspending very large amounts of money of a stupid ill
thought out exercise .

Merit rewarded in a Britain not divided by class but united by aspiration.
Showing a class-free society is not a slogan but in Britain can become a
reality. Since class is now dictated by
what you have achieved with you 'talents' this is a direct contradiction to the
earlier part of the speech about want opportunity not uniformity

Every fifty seconds in Britain a child is born.

Who knows what might happen to that child? Who knows if they could someday start
a thriving business, become a proud nurse, a good football player, or a great
scientist? Who knows if they will exceed all of their parents’ hopes to see them
get on, have a good job and a loving family?

So every child deserves the best possible start in life.

We have lifted 600,000 children out of poverty. We are doubling child benefits.
We have trebled maternity allowances. And 6 million families now benefit from
the Child Tax Credit I couldn't resist talking about this utter fiasco I personally organised.

None of this happened before a Labour Government.
No, the really big mistakes do require a
Labour government.

But we are not satisfied.

And the Pre Budget Report will set out our next steps because our goal for this
generation is to abolish child poverty and let me reaffirm that goal today.
Given that child poverty is measured on
relative terms this is an impossible aspiration - but I know my audience isn't
that bright - or else why would you be in the Labour party eh ?

And I say to the children of two parent families, one parent families, foster
parent families; to the widow bringing up children: I stand for a Britain that
supports as first class citizens not just some children and some families but
supports all children and all
families.Civil partnerships and adoption ?

We all remember that biblical saying: “suffer the little children to come unto
me.” No Bible I have ever read says: “bring just some of the children.”
Again he's got this wrong - the children
wanted to come to Jesus - they weren't brought. How many of his fathers sermons
did he sleep through ?

Because no child should ever be written off, for mothers of infants, we will
expand the help of nurse-family partnerships.

And for families and teenagers in trouble, new one-to-one support led by the
voluntary sector that, up and down the country, we know can make all the

And because its unfair to the children that fathers walk away from their
responsibilities, we will insist on new powers to name absent fathers on birth
certificates and to pay their share: maintenance deducted from benefits as we
return them to work.

And let me also say that I am now understanding the daily pressures all families
and all parents are under to do everything on time: make breakfast, get the kids
to school with their homework done, make sure no one forgets their P.E. kit or a
school play rehearsal. And of course fit in your own life and work and make sure
it all fits in 24 hours.

I have heard the call for change and we must respond to the rising aspirations
of parents.

Because we, a Labour government, introduced six months paid maternity leave, the
take up has risen from 25 per cent to 90 per cent. And so it is right this year
to raise it to nine months for all mothers on the road to 12 months paid
maternity leave. It is said that if your a small company you have to be insane to recruit a woman of child bearing age, and you can see why.

All this is part of the revolution in services for parents and the under fives:
now 7,000 extended schools, moving from zero to 3,500 sure start children’s
centres, the doubling of nursery education – two-thirds of a million more child
care places.

This is the next stage in the transformation of public services. Our aim high
quality care not just available to some but to all and tailored to parents needs
when they need it and at a price they can afford.

A growing number of parents who care for their children now also care for
elderly relatives. I want our new carers commission to hear the call for change
from millions of carers – and this government will now do more for respite care,
for training of carers, for better pension rights and to give new priority to
caring for disabled children.

And I pay tribute to our Deputy Leader Harriet Harman who by her campaigning
work is pioneering this cause of equality. No discrimination on the basis of
race, gender, sexuality, age, or faith. And no discrimination against the

We know that all parents are under more than the pressure of time.

Today amongst the biggest influences on children are the Internet, TV,
commercial advertising. And like many parents I feel I’m struggling to set the
boundaries so that children can be safe – and that’s why we have asked Dr Tanya
Byron to look at how families can make the most of the opportunities new
technology gives while doing our duty to protect children from harmful material.
The big play tent then ?

And to honour those who raised us, I can affirm our commitment to restore the
link between the Basic State Pension and earnings.
This is really cruel - Brown has delayed
the date on which this is to happen - but he thinks his audience won't remember.
Its cynical and border line dishonest.

It’s time also to make public services personal to the needs of the elderly:
more control over personal social care budgets; more choice managing chronic
care; a wider range of services from home helps to district nurses. Better
personal care so that older people can choose to stay in their own homes.

I want to ensure for all those who have served the community all their lives –
respect, dignity and security in old age.

And everything we build -- we build on a strong foundation of economic
stability. Northern Rock anyone ?

Our commitment to stability has been tested again and again over ten years: the
Asian crisis; the Russian crisis; the American recession; the trebling of oil
prices. And in the last month a wave of financial turbulence that started in
America and then Germany and has impacted on all countries including the United
Kingdom and tested the stability of our financial system.
= I'm going to blame it all on someone else - you watch.

Talking of blaming someone else Yesterday Alistair Darling set out how we will continue to respond with the same
calm vigilance that he has demonstrated over recent weeks.

And it is because of the strength of the British economy that we are able to
steer a path of low inflation, low interest rates and stable growth.

Ten years ago before a Labour government we were 7th in the G7 for income per
head. Now we are second only to the USA - above Germany, above France, above
Italy, above Japan, above Canada - with the longest uninterrupted period of
economic growth in the history of our country.

And in Britain where once there were three million unemployed, there are today
more men and women in jobs than ever in our history - for the first time over 29
million people in work. thanks to uncontrolled immigration

And we will continue to intensify the reform of the new deal, remove every
barrier immigration again, show we
can have flexibility and fairness together to advance to a Britain of full
employment in our generation.

And we will build on one of the greatest achievements of our Labour and trade
union movement – the National Minimum Wage. Next week we will again raise the
National Minimum Wage to £5.52 an hour and because we will do more for
vulnerable workers, in all companies and in all places the minimum wage will be
enforced without exception. Maybe this is
what sucked in all the illegal

And next week for the first time on top of holiday entitlement 4 days paid
public holidays guaranteed.

We should take pride that, under a Labour government, Britain - this small
number of people on this small island - is the fifth largest economy in the

As we set out on the next stage of our journey this is our vision: Britain
leading the global economy – by our skills and creativity, by our enterprise and
flexibility, by our investment in transport and infrastructure – a world leader
in science; a world leader in financial and business services; a world leader in
energy and the environment from nuclear to renewables; a world leader in the
creative industries; and yes – modern manufacturing too – drawing on the talents
of all to create British jobs for British workers.

There is another aspiration I have heard across the country.

I’ve met too many young couples who’ve told me - we work hard, we save, we play
by the rules, we want to get on and yet we can’t afford to buy or even rent our
first home.

So we plan to help first time buyers and we will increase house-building to
240,000 new homes a year - in places and ways that respect our green spaces and
the environment. My aim by 2010 two million more homeowners than in 1997.

And for the first time in nearly half a century we will show the imagination to
build new towns - eco-towns with low and zero carbon homes. And today because of
the response we have received we are announcing that instead of just 5 new eco
towns, we will now aim for ten eco towns ---- building thousands of new homes in
every region of the country. Built of 100% Bullshit

And for affordable housing and for social housing we will now invest £8 billion.
This will mean a 50 per cent increase in funds for social housing. I call on all
housing associations and councils of all political parties not only to support
shared equity for first time buyers, but to help us build more social homes for
rent, more homes for key workers and more homes to cut the unacceptable levels
of overcrowding. Good homes to rent and buy for the British people.

A strong Britain is a Britain of strong communities where by accepting our
mutual obligations to each other we can make our homes, our streets and our
neighbourhoods safe.

Those who choose to disobey the laws of our land - their crimes, the pain they
inflict, that danger and immorality - threaten the rights and security of every

No parent should ever have to endure the suffering of the family of Rhys Jones,
the young boy callously murdered in Liverpool on Wednesday August 22nd.

And the reason the people of Britain have been so shocked is that amongst the
vast majority of us there is an abhorrence of guns in our society.

That is why we took the right decision to ban handguns. And now we need to deal
with the illegal supply of guns which has been massively increasing under a Labour government.

Two thirds of deaths from gun crime occur in just four cities. In the last few
weeks Jacqui Smith and I have focused on the specific areas in these cities
where as I saw on Saturday at first hand the police will now: match intensive
uniformed patrolling and extensive undercover work; with the use of stop and
search powers and dispersal powers; reinforced by new hand-held weapon
detectors; and all backed up at a national level by the work of the organised
crime agency and our border force rigorously targeting and stopping the illegal
entry of guns.

My answer to crime and disorder - our policy - is to both punish and prevent.
detection would be nice also - but the
police are too busy with their New Labour targets and thought crimes and
uncontrolled immigration

To punish: for anyone over 18 illegally carrying a gun, a five-year sentence.
Which would have helped Rhys how ? It will mean the kids carry the guns for the dealers.

To prevent: in our schools intensive education warning about guns and knives and
teachers encouraged to use new powers to confiscate weapons. Andt

To punish the evil of drug pushers who poison our children: I want the tough new
powers that have already closed over one thousand crack houses in some areas of
the country to be used in all areas of the country.

And to encourage local police to use new powers to confiscate drug profits, more
of the confiscated funds will go direct to the police and local communities.

To prevent addiction: we will extend drug education and expand drug treatment
and we will send out a clear message that drugs are never going to be

There are now 139,000 police officers and 16,000 Community Support Officers –
more officers than ever before.

And by April 7th next year, every community will have its own neighbourhood
policing team. And I can announce that we will provide hand held computers -
1,000 now, by next year 10,000 right across the country – cutting paper work so
that officers can log crimes on the spot, stay on the beat and not waste time
returning to the station to fill out forms.

So yes we will strengthen the police. Yes we will strengthen our laws
we have added so many new ones.
But preventing crime for me also means all of us as a community setting
boundaries between what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour – with clear
penalties for stepping over the line.

Boundaries that reflect the words I was taught when I was young – words upon
which we all know strong communities are founded: discipline, respect,

Bullying is unacceptable – and unacceptable too is disrupting a classroom.

So to punish: we will give teachers the support they need to exclude.

To prevent: parents held accountable – fined if they fail to supervise. And so
that these young people are not left to hang around street corners, councils and
authorities obligated to maintain their education and supervision.

Binge drinking and underage drinking that disrupt neighbourhoods are

To punish: let me tell the shops that repeatedly sell alcohol to those who are
under age – we will take your licences away.

To prevent: councils should use new powers to ban alcohol in trouble spots and I
call on the industry to do more to advertise the dangers of teenage drinking.

I’ve met young people and pensioners alike who say they want to feel safe when
they go out but also that young people need somewhere to go and something to do.

So respect must be a two way street.

As we take action against anti-social behaviour, so too we must take action that
could transform our communities, by providing the kind of facilities young
people want and need.

So we will use unclaimed assets other peoples money in dormant bank accounts to build new youth centres, and we
will invest over £670 million pounds so that in every community there are places
for young people to go. With youth budgets let us say to young people: for the
first time you will have a say over how the money is spent.

I believe we have not done enough in the last ten years to emphasise that in
return for the rights we all have, there are responsibilities we all owe.

New rights to better health care but you have to show up and not miss your
appointment. New rights to educational maintenance allowances but you have to
show you are working hard. New rights to higher maternity allowances but you
have to meet with a health visitor. The right for company boards to make their
own decisions, but obligations to the rest of society too. And an understanding
that if you come to our country you not only learn our language and culture: you
must play by the rules.

In July I announced a new unified border force
( © Conservative party 2005,2007).
And already the first elements are in place - a stronger uniformed presence at
ports, customs officers targeting illegal immigration, stronger security checks
at passport control, by next year ID cards for foreign nationals and we will
start to count people in and out.

And we will move forward with our new Australian-style points-based approach to
immigration. So Britain will continue to benefit from skilled workers from
abroad and they will understand their responsibilities to earn the right to
settle in Britain.

But let me be clear any newcomer to Britain who is caught selling drugs or using
guns will be thrown out. No-one who sells drugs to our children or uses guns has
the right to stay in our country. Think you'll find the human rights act will stop you here

And to achieve a Britain of mutual obligation, I am convinced that we need a new
kind of politics with one party and one leader.

I continue to reach out to all those who work hard and play by the rules, who
believe in strong families and a patriotic Britain who may have supported other
parties but who like me want to defend and advance British values and our way of

All of the challenges we have to face can only be met by listening to and
involving the British people themselves. And I have no doubt that the best
answer to disengagement from our democracy is to renew our democracy.

And that means more change:

Change to make the executive more accountable. That’s why parliament will make
the final decisions about peace and war;

Change to strengthen our liberties to uphold the freedom of speech, freedom of
information and the freedom to protest;

Change to strengthen local democracy with new powers for economic development
and bus services and I pay tribute to the work of our local Labour councillors
across the country those who are left after the massacre of 2006.

Change within our own party, now for the first time to decide our policy one
member one vote;

And yes: change to the House of Lords - and we will in our manifesto commit to
introduce the principle of elections for the second chamber.

Perhaps the biggest challenge for the new politics is to show how we as a
community can join together to safeguard the environment, to turn the silent,
rising tide of global warming.

And I am proud that Britain will now become the first country in the world to
write into law binding limits on carbon emissions. But I am not satisfied: so I
am asking the new independent climate change committee to report on whether the
60 per cent reduction in emissions by 2050, which is already bigger than most
other countries, should be even stronger still.
Because destroying your own economy and
hoping every one else follows suit works so well - that's the same logic that
had Labour supporting CND - you know the disastrously weak negotiating hand

And by investing in energy efficiency, renewables, carbon capture, clean fuels
and new environmental technologies, I want Britain to lead in carbon-free
vehicles, carbon-free homes and carbon-free industry
which means no industry right now - still
India will be very pleased
. And I want the new green technologies of the
future to be the source of British jobs in British businesses.

And I commit to work tirelessly for a new post-Kyoto UN climate change agreement
with - yes - to help the poorest, binding targets for all the richest countries.
I don't tell you that Kyoto makes
virtually no difference at all - even if the man made global warming theory is
right - ha suckers.

And let me say: we in Britain cannot be good stewards of the environment unless
we are good internationalists and that means being good Europeans too
what on earth does any of this mean ?

At all times we will stand up for the British national interest.
Which conflicts with the words just above - your audience must be really dumb to buy this stuff.

And I accept my responsibility to write in detail into the amended European
Treaty the red lines we have negotiated for Britain
but I won't tell you what it really means - unlike many other heads of state who estimate its between 90 and 98% of the former constitution.

And whether it’s environmental, economic or security cooperation, we will hold
fast to the partnerships with our closest ally America, our membership of the
European Union, the Commonwealth and our commitment to the United Nations.
All things to all people eh - where have we heard that one before?

You know, there is a golden thread of common humanity that across nations and
faiths binds us together and it can light the darkest corners of the world
- this is just untrue. And the
message should go out to anyone facing persecution anywhere from Burma to
Zimbabwe: human rights are universal and no injustice can last forever.
But it will last a long time if your a
white framer in Zimbabwe.

People will look back on events in Darfur as they did in Rwanda and say why did
you the most powerful countries in the world fail to act, to come to the aid of
those with the least power? Sorry - where have you been for the last 10 years.
Rwanda happened on your watch as has Darfur.

Who can fail to be moved by the mother in Darfur who saved her two youngest
children from militias and hid them away? She rushed back to her village to find
her husband and older son murdered - and then was repeatedly raped by the

All for being a member of the wrong tribe, all for acting upon that shared human
impulse to protect her own children.

Her story touches our deepest conscience and summons us to act. In my first
weeks I went to the United Nations where we fought for and secured a clear and
unequivocal UN-resolution - do you think this hadn't been arranged a long time before ?. We have sent a message
directly to the government of Sudan: make progress or face tougher new sanctions
which mean little with China's support for Sudan. And we will not rest until there is an end to the aerial bombings, a ceasefire, a lasting political settlement and justice for the women
and children of Darfur.

One of the great challenges we now face is to work for peace and security in the
Middle East. Tony Blair - for thirteen years the Leader of our Party
and I have counted every day believe
- is now leading in the middle east peace effort
as far away as I can send him and
let me here acknowledge the contribution he is making now and the debt we owe as
a party and as a country to Tony Blair.

And as the Northern Ireland Assembly meets, thanks also to the work of Tony
Blair, let us celebrate that Northern Ireland is now building prosperity because
it is now enjoying peace. Northern
Ireland happened because of the work of John Major - failing to give just credit
shows you to be the sort of underhand character many of us know you to

And working internationally for understanding and reconciliation across borders,
Neil Kinnock, here with us today, is chairing the British Council and let me
also acknowledge the debt of gratitude we in this party owe to him.
You can see how impartial he is at
tonight's fringe meeting - we've kept him on the gravy wagon ever since he was
leader - just think how rich he is now - lucky old Neil !

Because we will do our duty and discharge our obligations, we will work in Iraq
and Afghanistan for three objectives: security, political reconciliation and
economic reconstruction, and at all times we will do everything to ensure the
security of our dedicated armed forces.

Let me say: there should be no safe haven, no hiding place anywhere in the world
for Al Qaida and terrorism.

To prevail in this struggle will require more than military force and we will
work with our allies to isolate extremism and win the battle of hearts and

I tell you today: there is a global poverty emergency.really ...

Today 80 million children do not go to school. I want us, inspired by Nelson
Mandela’s lead to take a campaign to every corner of the world - so that we will
be the first generation to ensure every child in every country in every
continent has the right to go to school.

Every year 10 million die from diseases we could have the medicine and science
to prevent and cure. If in the 20th century human ingenuity could put a man on
the face of the moon, then surely in this 21st century human compassion can lift
the pain from the face of a suffering child. So let us be the first generation
to ensure that every infant child and mother is protected against, and that we
eliminate, the scourges of tuberculosis, polio, diphtheria, malaria - and

For sixty years Britain has shown the way to health care not as a privilege to
be paid for but as a fundamental human right.
Except in England where people go blind
because we need the money to pay for extra treatment in Scotland and Wales !
Hey I had to pay to have my teeth straightened on the private - so I can grin at you today!

Better than any other endeavour the NHS expresses our mutual obligation to each
other: because all of us need help some of the time, it is the best insurance
policy in the world. One which you can
vastly increase the amount of money you put ion for little change in

I’ve been round the country and I’ve been visiting hospitals, GP surgeries,
health centres.

I have listened to and I have heard the British people.
Go on - you
expect us to buy this

They know when they have a medical emergency the NHS is there for them and at
its best. They tell me of their huge admiration for our doctors, our nurses and
our NHS staff - and we do not thank them enough, and we should do so now.

I know too there are real concerns about basic things that need to change:
getting in to see your GP when you need
to since we screwed the system up and
paid GP vastly more money to do less
; being confident the ward in your
hospital will be clean I recommend
; and at every stage being treated as an individual with respect
Nip over to
home to see how real this is
- nearly
everyone I know has stories which directly contradictory this statement. I would
call it a lie designed to con people into a false sense of security.

So yes there is work to do and we created
most of it

But let us be clear: the British people do not want to remove the NHS bit by
bit; they want to improve the NHS year by year.

And why shouldn’t all British people and not just some be able to see their
Doctor at the time they want, at the hospital or clinic they want - not at a
time someone else wants.

So let me set out how we take the NHS into a new era.

Our great achievement of the 1940s was a service universal to all. In 2007 we
need a service that is accessible to all and personal to all.

Our great ambition now: a National Health Service that is also a personal health
service. Well you'll need reform - but
your the road block to it aren't you.

And we now have to make big practical changes to set a new standard of service.

MRSA and C-Difficile are this century’s hospital diseases which every modern
country is now having to root out.

And to make sure every hospital is clean and safe, following best practice
around the world, there will be new funds direct to every hospital for a deep
clean of our wards. People in the know
are horrified at this suggestion - another top down diktat. there are hospitals
that do well - for example our local Nuffield

We will more than double the number of hospital matrons to 5,000. We will give
matrons and ward sisters in all 10,000 wards the powers to report cleaning
contractors and safety concerns directly to hospital boards and a stronger
health care commission. ( Sounds like a
recent Conservative manifesto I can remember )

And I can announce that matrons will have the power to order additional cleaning
and send out a message - meet the highest standards of cleanliness or lose your

I want an NHS: personal to you because you are seen by a consultant in a matter
of days, not months; personal to you because there is a right to be given x-ray
results quickly and time to discuss your treatment; personal to you because we
know that being unwell is not just a nine to five problem.

And so we will make GP hours more friendly to families, open up opportunities to
see a GP near your place of work as well as your home, expand walk in centres,
medical services at pharmacies and ensure a better service from NHS Direct
or NHS Redirect as it is known to those
of us in the real world

I know the most worrying time for women is whenever breast cancer is suspected.
That’s when you need an NHS personal to you.

On best medical advice, we will now extend the ages for breast cancer screening
by six years, treat every suspected breast cancer as urgent and guarantee your
consultant can fast track you.

And we will also extend colon cancer screening right up the age scale into your

I can also say that, following the review by Professor Darzi, my aim for the
next stage of an NHS personal to you: for every adult a regular check up on the

In July I met Liam Fairhurst, a twelve year old boy who won the Diana Princess
of Wales medal for raising money for cancer and leukaemia research. And he was
raising money in memory of a childhood friend who died from cancer even as he
himself is fighting the disease.

And I believe this too is a mission for our generation.

Over the next ten years: I am proud to announce that through the medical
research council and the NHS together, Britain will invest more than ever before
- £15 billion of public money - financing the genius of British researchers and
doctors as they convert breakthroughs in genetics, stem cell research and new
drugs into cures and vaccines to combat cancer and the deadliest of diseases.

My vision of the NHS – an NHS that is both pioneering new cures and personal to

And why do I believe so strongly in the NHS?

When I was at school it was football, rugby, running, sports: these were what I
did all the time and so I was fitter then.

But when I was sixteen, when I was playing for my school rugby team against our
former pupils, someone accidentally kicked me near my eyes. And from the age of
16 to 21, I spent a lot of time in hospital as the NHS worked to save my sight.

I learned that with a simple twist of fate life can change.

It was the skills of a surgeon, the care of wonderful nurses, the attention and
yes, the love and care of the NHS staff that managed to save one of my eyes.

And it is because of the NHS that I can see the words I read today.

The experiences we live through shape the way we think of the world. Experiences
like these have made me the person I am.

Sometimes people say I am too serious and I fight too hard and maybe that’s

But these experiences taught me what families all across Britain know: that
things don’t always come easy and there are things worth fighting for.

Like so many people across this country I have the best of reasons to believe in
the life-saving power of the NHS - and the liberating power of education - and
for making them both the best they can be.

So this is my pledge to the British people:

I will not let you down. too late.

I will stand up for our schools and our hospitals.
(buildings not services you

I will stand up for British values.Like
conning the English out of their democratic rights, money etc

I will stand up for a strong Britain.
Which is not possible as long the the
festering wound of the West Lothian Question - which you inflicted - is allowed
to continue.

And I will always stand up for you
meaning Scotland - in fact
I swore to do this a few years ago.

Thank goodness that's over - should
have looked at how much he went on before I started. No wonder everyone else was
limited to 8
mins - they
wouldn't have the time otherwise.


cherie79 said...

Doesn't matter where you came from - unless you are David Cameron of course. Brown attended a selective Senior Secondary school = Grammer. I don't know how you had the patience to do this, if the polls are to be believed then people are totally gullible and I despair. All I can see is this dreadful man who depresses me to look at and even more when he opens his mouth. A one time politics junkie I now just want to survive as best I can as I see no escape from the almost police state our country has been reduced to, and I am a Scot albeit one who lives happily in England.

Man in a Shed said...

Cherie79 - thanks for the comment. I was really down hearted last week - but for some reason I see a chink of light this week.

I remember the days before John Major's first general election, when everyone (well the BBC at least) was sure Labour would win - there was a sort of sobering up 3 days before the election. Now people blame the famous Sheffield ralley, they blame the Sun's headline - but I really think its finally being put on the spot to make a decision that does it.

Brown's a fraud - people in their heads know that - its just their hearts that flutter just now.

I've lived a number of happy years in Scotland and have married a fine Scottish Lady from Lanarkshire. In some ways all that makes me more tuned into the deceit that is being perpetrated on the English by Labour right now.